It looks like the literacy tests last week were a waste of time.
Monday: AJ called us together for the morning meeting and said he'd decided over the weekend to implement a "traceability" policy. From now on all work is to be signed and dated, so we all can keep track of who does what and when it was done. He said any printout must be signed and dated, especially anything going out to suppliers or customers, such as any letters, invoices or purchase orders. He then told me to make sure that the computer dated all work done on it from now on, especially on any printouts. I just nodded as all printouts are dated already - so that's another easy week for me as I don't have to do anything towards implementing this latest weird idea.
Donna and Fiona were both getting a little red and, once he'd gone back in his office, Donna said what was all that about? we always sign everything going out to customers, and Fiona nodded. I said that's OK, just tell him you're doing it if he asks you.
Guru Bob called me up to ask why AJ hadn't done the computer literacy test Jeff, Bob and Kate gave him last week. I said he just didn't do it - he didn't have time maybe. Guru Bob said look, have you still got the test sheet there with you - give him it and tell him he's got to do it, make him do it. I said what? and he said his boss says we can't refer him as a fail because he hasn't actually failed - he's got to do the test before we can fail him. I didn't have the test sheet so he faxed it over to me and I took it in to AJ. He said what's this? so I said it's the computer literacy test you didn't get to do last week - Head Office are waiting to process it. He said oh, put it in my in-tray and I'll do it later. I said well, they're waiting for it now, so he said I'll do it today - if I get the time.
I called up Guru Bob and said well, I've given him it, and he said he'd do it today if he has time. Guru Bob said oh, and I said yes. I don't know when he'll do it, but I'm not holding my breath. The whole point of the literacy test thing was to refer him for failing, but I guess all he has to do is hold out and he's gotten away with it again.
Tuesday: Donna called me over first thing because she couldn't log in to the system this morning. She said she'd had a message about her password being changed to '1 grace', but when she'd tried to use that instead it came up with an error. I explained that it didn't mean that - it meant she had to change her password. She said why, I've only just changed it! She'd had the same password for near on three years, so I guess I can't complain that it took her two weeks to remember her new one. Now she's got to have another, and I don't think she's too happy about it - but that's Guru Bob's decision.
I talked her through changing her password to one that was a minimum five letters, and then LeeAnn and James both came over and LeeAnn said are you having trouble with your password too, Donna? so are we. I went to LeeAnn first and then James, and talked them both through changing theirs too. I then went over to check with Fiona, and she said she'd gotten a message and had changed hers OK. Amy said I haven't got a message at all.
I went over to see what had happened with Amy's and why she hadn't gotten the message - and switched it on so the message came up. We then changed her password as well. Andy and AJ will probably be coming over real soon now, and Mike should be calling me up any minute now too.
Mike finally called me up at about half eleven to say his laptop was broken again. I said did you get a message? and he said yes, so I said was it about your password? but he said I can't remember what the message said - I just clicked 'OK' to clear it and then it broke. I said OK, I'll reset it for you when you come in this afternoon.
Andy obviously didn't need to use his PC today, nor did AJ.
Wednesday: LeeAnn couldn't sign in again this morning as she'd forgotten her password. We changed it and it still stopped dead, so I went in and reset it. I then watched as it refused to let her on - probably because we'd set her password to 'harley' and you don't normally spell it 'haley' unless you want to. I pointed this out, and LeeAnn denied she'd misspelled it, so I watched her type it in again. After it threw her out again I leant over and typed it in myself, and it went through OK. LeeAnn said well, it likes you, doesn't it? it doesn't like me.
AJ put his head around my office door when he was wandering past and said you'd better take a look at my laptop when you've got a minute - it's been playing up since yesterday. I said why, what's wrong with it (knowing full well what was wrong) but he sighed and said well if I knew that I'd be the computer expert, now wouldn't I? I said was it when you signed on to the server, and did a message come up? He said I really can't remember the details, you'd better have a look at it.
Went in and reset his password for him - and resisted the temptation to set it as 'moron'. I set it as 'expert' instead.
The big printer was working fine after the lunchbreak. Being scared LeeAnn might be watching must be a great way to remember to use the other socket for your mobile charger.
She wasn't actually watching as she was having problems with her password again. She called me over when she tried to sign back in after the lunchbreak, and after about six tries where she was using her previous passwords (as she'd forgotten her new one from this morning) and three tries where she misspelled it again, I finally gave up and did something totally evil. I know you're never supposed to set someone's password as their first name, but at least she won't misspell it - or forget it.
Andy didn't need to use his PC today either.
Thursday: LeeAnn called me over to watch her try to get in to the system again this morning, and said see, look, it just doesn't like me at all when it coughed her out again. I said which password are you using? as I thought maybe she'd remembered the passwords from yesterday instead of the fact I'd broken the rules for her and set her password to 'leeann'. She said no, I am using that one, see! and typed it in again.
When I changed it to 'leeann' yesterday I very stupidly assumed she wouldn't forget or misspell her own first name. I was only half right - at least she didn't forget it.
I changed the parameter on the server so the password field is now only a minimum of two alphanumeric places instead of five, and set her password to her initials. Hopefully she won't misspell them.
Andy still hasn't had to use his PC today.
Friday: AJ said at the morning meeting how pleased he was with my work on modifying the computer system so every piece of computer-generated paper was being dated now. I said thank you. He said now all we have to do is make sure it's signed as well before it's sent out or filed. Donna said we're making sure of that, so he said excellent, I'm pleased to see you all co-operating with me on this.
Guru Bob called me up after the lunchbreak, just before AJ came around to tell us all he was going to the afternoon meeting at Head Office, to see if he'd done the computer literacy test yet. I said no I don't think so, so he said try to find out - we need to get that test sheet back so we can show people how badly he's failed. Just then AJ came by, so I said hold on a minute, and said to him it's Head Office calling and they want to know if you've gotten around to finishing that computer test sheet yet - they're still waiting. AJ said oh no, I've been much too busy - I'll look at it next week. I waited until he'd gone before taking my hand off the phone but Guru Bob had heard him so I didn't have to tell him what AJ'd said. He said oh well, we'll just have to get hold of his boss and try to keep the pressure on.
Andy came by my office and said my PC won't let me print anything - I've written this memo and I wanted to print it, but it won't print out as it says there's no printer. I said have you had a message about your password to get in to the system? and he said oh yes, I got one this morning, but it's still working all right. I went over to his office and checked his PC - he's signed on but not connected to the system as he's just gone through without his network password, so I saved the memo and rebooted. Then I talked him through changing his password, so he could access the printer. I said you'll have to remember your new password, so he thought for a moment and then said well I'm sure to forget it over the weekend, so I'll just tell LeeAnn what it is - she'll remember it for me. I didn't say anything, but I guess if she can't remember her own password from one day to the next there's no way she'll remember his over a whole weekend.